Never say "No".  Use a word which is more positive even if you are not going to do it.

1.  Say "Yes,.. and" instead of "Yes, but..."

2.  Use "Let me find out"  instead of, " I don't know".

3.  Say "What I can do is...", instead of, "I/We can't do that".

4.  Say, "Here is the information on the organization that has that service, book, website, copier, computer service or information", instead of "We can't do that".

5.  Instead of "You make me feel..." just say "I feel...".

6.  Say, "Would you please", instead of "You have to".

7.  Instead of saying " I will help you in a minute", say "I'll be finished with this person in x minutes, would you like to wait, come back, find help from another person or have me get back with you later".

8.  Instead of saying "I will try", say the smaller specific thing that you know you will actually do.

9.  Don't say, "You are wrong",  say "According to my information and here is the document or Please share more about what you know, (documentation), so that I can understand your perspective".

10. Use powerful words:

   a. Next:  Next time, please tell me when you need to leave the media center.

   b. Instead: What DVD's do you want instead of the ones I ordered?

   c. Despite:  Despite the mix-up about the ordering deadline, what are you planning to do?

   d. Satisfy:  What will satisfy your concerns about my schedule in the media center?

11.  Focus on your patrons:

   a.  Focus on the patrons desired outcome, not the present or the customer's current problem.

   b.  Avoid generalities, be as specific as possible.

   c.  Always say what you can do rather than what you can't do.

   d.  Make sure that your demeanor will build rapport.  Smile and use a friendly tone of voice and posture.

12.  Always try to learn from miscommunication mistakes and correct it next time.

Ideas were taken from workshop, "How Can I Help Them Get Along?  Conflict Resolution Skills and Strategies for Library Middle Managers",  Sponsored by the State Library and Archives of Florida with SWFLN, NEFLIN and SEFLIN.

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